The power and skill to prune back in our lives.

This past weekend John and I ventured out into the garden for the first time in months. As our first proper garden, we had spent many hours over the Spring and Summer months digging borders, painting fences, cleaning patios, laying lawn, sowing seed. We were creating the vision we wanted to see in our outdoor space. So I felt a little sad as I looked out the kitchen window onto the back garden over the Winter. Seeing the dormant plants without blossom, and the borders filling up with leaves and debris. I could see the work we had put in, and I knew that it was not the right time to interfere with the garden, but I also knew that soon the time for pruning and tidying would arrive, and we could continue the work we had begun. It really got me thinking about how our lives are so similar. How we need to learn the power and skill to prune back in our lives.

One of the main jobs that got me out into the garden was pruning back the plants and branches that were dead. I could see the new growth starting to bud or burst up from the earth. So it was time to start clearing away the overgrowth and debris to let the new plants thrive. It gives me such joy to see new buds on trees and shrubs and to see spring bulbs stretching up. Knowing that the work we had begun last year was paying off. Seeing new life spring forth in our garden, because we tended to it. Because we are learning when to work, when to enjoy and when to prune back.

A conviction to prune back

In my research for this blog, I came across so many anecdotes about peach trees. The idea of a peach tree sounds marvelous to me, but here in Scotland, we don’t have the climate. What I found out, however, is that a peach tree will bear bumper juicy fruit only when it is pruned properly. Each year the new growth must be pruned back by around 40%. If not, all the energy and nutrients required to grow delicious fruit will be spread too thinly, thus producing small and inferior fruit. Or, if the tree hasn’t developed a strong enough trunk, the tree could break under the weight of too much fruit.

What seems like barbarity, is in fact so necessary. In order for the peach tree to produce good and plentiful fruit, it must be managed. Regardless of what tree or plant you have growing near you, the same truth applies. In order for abundance in fruit, flowers, and life, we must know several things:

What. Why. Where. When. How.

What is pruning?

Pruning in life, rather than in nature, is the practice of cutting away branches of our life that inhibit, burden, hurt, or overstretch us. These things could be activities, people, bad habits, or practices. And they’re not always bad things either. Often, we must learn when to say no and take a step back from things that distract us from more important things.

Why should I prune?

Why do anything in life? To improve yourself and make life better for yourself and others. The act of pruning in your life displays a discernment for what works and what doesn’t. It means you’re paying attention and reacting according to what you see. If a tree is left to grow wild and free, left to its own devices, eventually, it will become overgrown. Light will no longer be able to reach all the branches, nutrients will be insufficient to feed the whole tree, and thus it will begin to die. When dead branches are left untended, rot and disease can set in.

So it is for us. If we don’t look carefully at our lives and manage each branch they will become choked and unfruitful. Branches like family, work, friends, hobbies, finances, property, habits, behaviours…they all need tending. When we take on too much, when one branch is allowed to dominate another, when dead branches are not cut away and become diseased, we lose productivity. As we learn to prune back, we allow other areas of our lives to flourish and blossom. We bear better fruit and become better people when we learn where to cut out what is damaging.

Where should I prune then?

This is such a personal thing. It is not my place or my right to tell you where you should prune back in your life. But it is important that you do. It is also important to know the reason you need to do so. Don’t make flippant or arbitrary decisions. Serious thought must take place first, especially if you are dealing with people and relationships. If for example, you have negatively minded people in your life that are bringing you down all the time, then it’s important to deal with that branch. However, it should be done carefully, gradually, and with love. We maybe need to cut it back, spend less time with that person, in order that our own positivity has a chance to flourish. What we need are people who find the good in us.

Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.

Zig Zigler

Or maybe you have a habit, good or bad, that is causing strain in your life. It could be anything, but it is pulling you away from more important things. We see branches in our life suffering and being less productive because we cling to this other branch. Sometimes we need to take an honest look at ourselves and ask a frank question. Is this important? Am I hurting myself and others? Could I spend my time more wisely? Is this a selfish pursuit? Whatever the question you need to ask yourself, figure it out and answer it honestly. Our conscience is there for a reason, so we must listen to it so we can learn to prune back what isn’t adding value to our lives.

When should I prune?

When you prune back in your life is an important aspect of the process. If I refer back to my peach tree, I mentioned that each year it had to be pruned back by 40% in order for fruit to be plentiful and of good quality. Now I’m not suggesting that you need to cut out 40% of what fills your life, but what I am saying is that it happens regularly. Each year the grower must tend their tree. They come back to it, again and again, to keep the tree healthy and at a specific time. If they prune too early or too late, it can have adverse effects on the growing capability of the tree.

So it is for us too. We must learn when to turn inwards and take an honest look at our lives and see what isn’t working anymore. Sometimes the decision is taken out of our hands as our health, our partner, or some other external factor forces us to make changes. This is usually because we’ve been ignoring or not recognising the signs. Sticking our heads in the sand like an ostrich and ignoring what we know needs to be changed will catch up with us at some point.

However, if we start to make a concerted effort to listen to our bodies, our conscience, or if you believe in a higher power, the Spirit, then we can begin to make positive changes in our lives and learn to prune back the branches that no longer produce good fruit, or are choking us with their presence.

How do I do it?

Do it carefully. Like I said before, if you are dealing with delicate situations, people, relationships, or something you really love, be gentle, kind, and patient. Change is important, but we must think of those around us and ensure that we cause no harm. If the peach tree is pruned too vigorously, if too much is taken away, in the wrong place or at the wrong time, the damage can be irreversible. As I’ve said many times, any change begins with a small step and is followed by a series of other small steps. Big leaps often hurt us and we cause damage to ourselves and those around us.

A final word on pruning back

Time is such a precious commodity. How much of our time is taken up with fruitless pursuits, damaging activities, unimportant events, bad habits? I know I am guilty of things in my life that do not serve me well, that are not fruit-bearing things. And I therefore must take action and prune back those things with care so that I may be more fruitful in life. We must make space for the people, activities, and pursuits in life that make the best use of our precious time and gifts so that we do not squander them needlessly.

All We Have To Do Is Decide What To Do With The Time That Is Given To Us.

Gandalf the Grey
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

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