Lifestyle coach: Life from a woman’s point of view with the writing of Katie
Do you, or someone you know, suffer from Chronic Pain? For the past 14 years, I have suffered from chronic pain and struggled to manage the implications it presents. However, with the help of my Physiotherapist and some personal study, I am trying to overcome the limitations of chronic pain. I’ve discovered these 5 tips that I will share with you now. You might be wondering why I’m talking to you about chronic pain. Well, it’s something that both John and I have had to cope with, in one way or another, for a large part of our lives. As many of you will know, John has Ulcerative Colitis, a debilitating condition that attacks the large intestine and can, in rare cases, be fatal. For years John suffered from chronic pain that left him exhausted and left his opportunities very limited in many ways. I have a long term knee injury that I have really struggled to get a grip on. Since my teenage years, I’ve had mobility issues and terrible pain. This was exacerbated by further injury in my twenties, that no physio has been able to fix. I’m hopeful that this is about to change, both through my current physio regime, and some of my own experiences and discoveries. I’ll also share these 5 tips with you from Ted Jones, PhD, and his article on the subject. Disclaimer: I’m not a professional by any means, and only give my experience and what has helped me. Please seek professional advice as a first rule and do nothing that will cause harm to yourself or others! Tip 1. Understanding Understanding your chronic pain is so important! For years I suffered through, taking pain medication, hoping that it would go away and just disguising or masking the pain. I wasn’t really dealing with the core problem. This led to a downward spiral where the issue became worse and the pain became worse. I was so scared of hurting myself that I inadvertently created these psychological pain walls in my head that told my body that the pain, although real, was so much worse than it maybe was in reality. It got so bad that even just the gentlest touch to my knee caused me terrible pain. I had overloaded my pain sensors and fooled them by being afraid of pain. What I didn’t know, was that not all pain is bad. In order to heal I had to do the opposite of what I was doing. I had to move! Fear of hurting my knee further caused me to limit myself. I used to do aerobics and Zumba, but the pain afterward was awful. So instead of finding a more manageable alternative, I assumed that I couldn’t do anything and stopped energetic movement completely. It was a terrible decision that has rippled repercussions through the intervening years. I didn’t understand my pain and therefore didn’t deal with it correctly. I hadn’t the guidance nor the maturity or knowledge that I have now. Ignorance is not bliss. Learn what you can about your pain, speak to your health professionals, and respond to what your mind and body are telling you. John had a very different issue to deal with. He had to convince his Colitis Specialist and local GP that his medication was not working for him! That’s something so important to remember! You know your own body! What works for one person, may not work for another. Don’t be afraid to speak up and question your treatment plan. If John hadn’t done so, he would still be in chronic pain and on a medication that was harming him, not helping. Tip 2. Accepting For many years myself and John, have fought with acceptance on varying levels. Many a time I have thought ‘why me?’ or ‘I wish it’d just be better!’ or worse still ‘I’d rather just chop my leg off than keep suffering like this!’ Rather dramatic and over-the-top, but very honest at that time in my life. Sometimes the pain is just so bad you want to disappear. The old adage, ‘Acceptance is the first step to healing’ is often rolled out, but if your so mired in a ‘woe is me’ attitude, finding strength from this can seem impossible. By ‘Catastrophising’ your pain (telling yourself it’s the worst pain imaginable, that you’ll never find relief and it’s just the worst time in your life) you are setting yourself up to fail. Yes, you hurt. Yes, you want to scream the air black and blue. But where do you go next? What now? Accepting your current limitations is crucial to your physical and mental improvement. By not focusing on what you can’t do, and instead looking to what you can, you can steadily redirect your negative position towards a more positive one. For example, my physio has told me to walk, yes, but to limit myself to short ones. I suffer terribly the next day if I over-do it, and knowingly rely on my stronger pain killers to cope. And just to please other people! I could have spoken up and said can we take it a little easier, but not wanting to deprive them, or show weakness, I didn’t. The idea that we ‘should’ be able to do something, seemingly simple, is a big learning curve to coping with chronic pain. You have to learn what your normal is and work within your boundaries. Then you’ll see improvement. I know I have. Acceptance is how John got started with Art from the Heart! He realised that he was limited by his Colitis. Working a standard 9-5 job would be outwith his capabilities, and yet he didn’t let that stop him! He thought, well I know what I can do and what I can’t, so let’s focus on what I can. Paint! Why not visit the website and find inspiration for your next step. Who knows, it could be a new skill in painting! https://www.johnmorrisartfromtheheart.com/ Tip 3. Calming Sometimes the obvious choice in coping with chronic pain isn’t necessarily the best one. How often do we just reach for the painkillers? It’s a simple solution after all and will no-doubt kill the pain we are experiencing. Don’t misunderstand me, we do need to take the medications prescribed by our health professionals, but sometimes our body reacts to pain more extremely than is actually there. We’re so used to pain that we expect it and have sometimes got into practices of dealing with it that are not necessarily good for us. Our bodies become stressed over time by this constant pain and therefore are in some way damaged in how they respond to it. How do we fix that? Learning to calm your body, to distract or relax it, can be an effective way of assessing how extreme your pain actually is, and indeed is an alternative to automatically reaching for that pain pill. I haven’t spent much time on this method yet as it’s all new to me, but it is something I will be employing to reduce my painkiller intake. There’s no one way to relax or distract your mind and body. You need to find the fit for you whether it be yoga, mindfulness, music, meditation, or something else entirely. I will need to decide what works for me, and I’ll get back to you in due course! Tip 4. Balancing This is something I’ve already briefly touched on: not over-doing it! There are other aspects to finding balance, a lesson that should be applied to your whole life, not just this current topic of coping with chronic pain. You need to create a ‘sustainable lifestyle’ that works for you. There is a time for everything, and you need to find a balance in your routine. Make time for light exercise that strengthens you and helps you manage your pain, but don’t do too much! You’ll only set yourself back! I know! I’ve been there and it’s not fun! You also need time for rest. It is important to allow for enough sleep as it helps you to face the day revived and ready. Chronic pain is the stealer of sleep! Chronic pain is the classic stealer of sleep. It’s something I currently struggle with. But finding out what works for you to help you get as sound a sleep as you can is important. I often find right now that I need a pain killer during the night more than I do during the day, as that’s the time I experience the most pain. I’ve learned to read my body and administer pain medication when it’s most needed. During the day I often need to take a seat or do some light exercise to sort the pain out. It really depends on what the cause of your pain is. Learn to read the signs your body is giving you before things get really bad. Lastly, remember that you need to prioritise yourself sometimes. I know this can be difficult when life is hectic and family or work demands are placed upon us etc. But if you don’t think about what is best for you at times, you’ll only cause yourself more damage and continue to loop in that cycle on unmanaged chronic pain. And then you’re no use to anyone and you’ll just feel worse! Be good to yourself! Tip 5. Coping Balance flows smoothly into Coping. They are linked because as I said above, it is important to be able to learn how to cope with your pain in a healthy and sustainable way. One that doesn’t always rely on popping pain pills. It is also especially true for people like my husband, who cannot rely on pain pills, as they have a life-long illness. John’s Colitis has to be learned to be managed if he’s to have any sort of quality of life and that comes through developing coping mechanisms. I’m glad to say that he has been successful in this. For myself, I’ve invested in a cold compress that is re-useable and allows me to opt for a natural remedy to control my pain. I also use Arnica gel, which is a plant that is transformed into an anti-inflammatory and works wonders on my knee! I’ll include the links, though please note that these are only things that worked for me and may not be suitable for you. Distractions One of the best ways to deal with your pain without resorting to medication, however, is to distract yourself. By diverting your focus away from the pain, you are not only re-directing your concentration but also reducing the reactivity of your pain receptors. My physiotherapist has told me that the reason my knee pain had become so chronic was that I’d created a heightened response when anything went near my knee. My fear of pain had created more pain and I, therefore, had to desensitize the area gradually. So by diverting your thoughts elsewhere, you can not only learn to cope with the pain better but also prevent the pain from becoming worse. It’s best to distract yourself with an activity that requires focus such as, sorting the laundry, painting your nails, painting a picture, reorganising that messy cupboard that you’ve been ignoring forever! It doesn’t matter what it is, but it has to be within your limits of capability and distracting enough to take your mind off your pain. Methods for Coping with Chronic Pain Below are some great tools for coping during struggle and some that John and I have personally used. Just click on the links below and begin building a freeer life. John’s new book available at www.thebattlesweallface.com Great art courses at www.ourtreachart.org I hope this Coping with Chronic Pain blog has been very helpful for you. Katie
Read MoreWhat a year eh? Who could have predicted that 2020 would become ‘the year that was’? So many new challenges, uncertainties, worries…the stress! Right?! Life is stressful enough without a global pandemic acting as the shiny glacé cherry on your already overfilled and heavy cake! Did you cope? Are you coping? Is your head buried in the sand somewhere? Or are you bracing the storm head-on? I think John and I are somewhere in the middle, but not because of Covid solely. It’s been a really busy year for many reasons, and we deal with it very differently. I’m the steady one who takes things in my stride more easily, whereas John finds steadiness more challenging and stress creeps up, often unnoticed. Therefore, learning to cope by recognising the signs, symptoms, and causes will help us learn how to cope better. What is stress? I think it’s really important to realise that stress is a natural and very normal response. When it is working properly your stress response can be the very thing that saves your life in a dangerous situation or sees you through a particularly challenging task. The release of the stress response keeps you alert and ready for anything, allowing you to cope with the situation at hand. There comes a point, however, where the stress response can become unhelpful, causing symptoms that are destructive and harmful. Damage to your health, mood, relationships, productivity, and quality of life are all in danger of harm if you don’t recognise the signs of stress in your life. If you’re frequently feeling overwhelmed, stretched in every direction, or just exhausted, then it’s time to take control and find balance in your life. Equally, if you know someone else displaying similar symptoms, then see if you can lighten their load and de-stress. Effects of stress Chronic stress is a dangerous thing. It’s dangerous because the more our stress response is activated, the harder it is for our bodies to control. It’s further exacerbated by the fact that our bodies are not adept at recognising the difference between physical and emotional threats. Our bodies can react just as potently to a tense family argument as it would to dealing with a severe physical injury. If you slip into stress mode easily you may be in an elevated state of stress more frequently than you know. Many people fall into this state because we live in a fast-paced and stressful world that is always making demands of us. This opens you up to a plethora of health issues that affect all aspects of your bodily function. Your immune system can be suppressed, your digestion disrupted, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, interfere with reproduction, and accelerate aging. You also become more vulnerable to depression and anxiety, amongst other mental health problems. Some other symptoms: Pain Sleep problems Skin conditions Weight issues Cognitive and/or memory problems From experience, some of these symptoms are effects that either John or I have felt from stress. Particularly, disrupted digestion, sleep issues, and in some cases pain or skin problems. Recently John has been feeling rather stressed over his new project Mind, Body and Soul. He is so passionate about it and sees the potential in it, but whilst getting it off the ground, the pressure gets piled on too. And as a result, he has not been sleeping well at all this week. But the crucial thing is, he has learned to recognise when he is getting stressed and therefore take steps to counteract it. It takes time to learn this, but it’s so important! He’s made a point of resting completely, and I mean deliberately creating time to do nothing. This pushes back the stress symptoms and gets him back on track. Red light, yellow light, green light, Meltdown! During a break from writing this blog, John and I sat down to chat over a cuppa. He’s come up with a system that he’s been working on to help him recognise what level of stress he is feeling at any given moment, and is an effective way to communicate with me easily. It’s a simple traffic light warning system: Greenlight – Everything is ok. You are happy and positive and coping well. Yellow light – You feel slightly stressed, have a bad temper, are irritable, and have slight pain. Red light – Swearing, angry, frustrated very quickly, negative emotions, interrupted sleep and experiencing more pronounced pain. Meltdown – Full-on OTT reactions, blinkered vision leading to complete breakdown in communication, not sleeping at all, chronic pain, totally negative outlook, and extreme anger. This final stage of Meltdown describes what happens when John doesn’t control his stress levels and things get way out of hand. It’s very rare, and let’s face it, we’ve all been that crazy stressed person at some point in our life, but what’s important is recognising that it’s not good for our mental or physical health. That’s where this traffic light warning system comes in handy because if you can recognise your symptoms of stress, you can do something to counteract the downward spiral before you each total meltdown! Create your own traffic light signs, so you have a visual checklist reminding you of your stress signs. Signs and symptoms of stress Stress is a sneaky thing. So often we don’t even notice that we are becoming more and more stressed as the symptoms creep up on us. But if we start to pay more attention to our bodies we can begin to notice the signs and therefore take control before stress does. Here are some signs and symptoms you may notice. It’s not an exhaustive list! Worry Poor judgment Unable to concentrate Loneliness Being irritable and snappy Struggling to make decisions Nausea, dizziness Eating more or less Drinking or smoking more Nervous habits (nail biting, foot-tapping, touching your face) Speak to your GP if you’re worried about any symptoms you may be experiencing caused by stress. Don’t try and deal with them on your own. What causes stress? The causes of stress really come down to you personally. What I find invigorating or enjoyable, may be your worst nightmare and induce a stress response. Equally, stress is not always caused by a bad situation. Good things can cause a stress response too, such as getting married or buying a house or car. Furthermore, stress is not always caused by external factors like relationship issues. It can be as a result of internal thoughts if you have a pessimistic view of the world or worry about things that may not have even happened yet. Often this is the battle that John faces. If you’re a born worrier, it’s important to learn to control those thoughts! I tend to get stressed over physical things that I feel like I need to control or if something external overwhelmed me. What stresses you out? This year I’ve experienced some of the most common causes of stress in my life. I’m sure you have too! Stress over work and the prospect of unemployment and the financial stress that comes with job insecurity. One of the biggest stressors we will ever experience is the loss of a loved one. Although I have been spared this, this year, I know full well the stress that is induced by this terrible event. I lost my Dad to cancer at 18 and felt the effects of stress and grief long after he had gone. So many people all over the world are in this state this year, and my heart goes out to you all! If you are dealing with grief, there are many people you can turn to for help. You’re not alone! Know your limits. Like I said above, John and I are really different when it comes to stress. I seem to be able to take things in my stride better, adapting to change more readily. Whereas John is less able to cope with change and feels the effects of stress more readily than me. Your ability to cope with stress is reliant on a number of factors: Control If you have confidence in yourself, you will be able to cope with stress more effectively. Attitude If you have a positive outlook, if you’re a hopeful person, you will be less vulnerable to stress. Accepting change and challenge as part of your life will make you stronger and more able to deal with stress. Emotion Being able to recognise and deal with your emotions is a sure way to be able to reduce stress in your life. Allowing them to take control will only sink you faster into stress. Knowledge If you know you’re heading for a stressful situation, please prepare yourself by arming yourself with information. If you go in blindly, you’re more likely to have false expectations and therefore not recover as quickly as you might. The way forward in coping with stress It’s all fine and well me rabbiting on about stress and how it’s not good for your physical and mental wellbeing. Of course, it’s not! You already knew that! It’s something that John and I have been getting to grips with for a long while and there are many things you can do to head off stress in your life. It’s about learning to read your body and respond in time before you get to the meltdown stage. Practical Remedies to cope with stress Move It may sound cliché, but of course, getting up and moving about can be a real boost and get you out of your stressful thought processes. Now if you’re anything like me, you may have limitations or just get stressed at the mention of the word ‘exercise’. It’s not necessarily something that comes naturally to me, especially in the traditional sense of running, swimming, cycling, football, etc. I get into a cold sweat at the mention of these things. However, I do know that I love a walk in the fresh air, or a gentle hike into the hills, a bit of aerobics, or Zumba. It’s important to find a physical activity that you can sustain. Gets those endorphins flooding your body and blowing away the stressors! Put on some music and have a jig around the kitchen! Whatever! Just move! Rest The antithesis of this is also important in coping with stress. You must learn when to stop and rest. This is something that I am good at, but John finds a challenge. He’s constantly thinking, moving and working, and needs reminding to take a rest. If not, he will invariably find himself on the downward spiral towards an extreme stress situation. By making sure that you take regular rest, you will get into a rhythm and keep stress at bay more easily. This goes in hand with developing ways to help you relax. By incorporating activities like yoga, meditation, mindfulness, or just a relaxing activity like playing an instrument, or painting, you can relax more effectively. You need to figure out what you enjoy and what works for you in your life and schedule. Sometimes you just don’t have time to sit down and devote an hour or so to an activity, so some short focused meditation or mindfulness may work. It takes practice, but John will attest that it works! Sitting on his bum and watching a film is one of his favourite ways to relax. Mine too! Finally, the most common-sense way to be rested is of course to get enough sleep! This is one of those cyclical things; if you don’t get enough sleep, you are more easily stressed, which then affects your sleep, and so the cycle keeps turning. Get a good night’s sleep! Be as disciplined as you can and get to bed at a decent hour. I know sometimes that just won’t happen, but by developing a bedtime routine, our bodies learn to get into ‘sleep mode’ and are therefore more likely to be better rested after sleep. Eat Eat,…
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I love Christmas! It’s absolutely my favourite season and one that I look forward to every year. The decorations, food, the Christmas lights, gift-giving and receiving and spending time with family are all reasons I love this time of year. But it’s not the main reason. The main reason is that, no matter how our year has gone, it remains a time of hope. Are you hopeful this Christmas? Do you feel the hope of better things to come? I can guarantee that not all of you reading this will feel hopeful. It’s been a difficult and trying year for everyone in some way, and trying to muster the strength to enjoy Christmas may just be too much, never mind finding hope. I hear and feel that pain. I’ve been that person and gone through that veil of shadow. But let me give you hope as we enter into this season of Advent, to refocus your thoughts and direct you towards finding hope this Christmas. Follow the Star I’m guessing you know the Christmas Story. If not you can read it in full in Matthew and Luke’s Gospels in The Bible. The part of the story I want to focus on is that of the Wise Men. These wise men had an epiphany (a sudden realisation about this star and what it meant). So of course they followed it, and it led them to Jesus. What’s my point you may ask? My point is that we can find hope by following our own Star. People call it different things depending on their beliefs, but by listening to that still small voice inside us that will lead us to goodness and truth, we can find hope. Try listening to your inner voice, follow those thoughts that feel intuitive and inspired, and you’ll be on your way to finding hope this Christmas. A symbol of light, a symbol of hope So often when we are feeling low, it is so easy to give in to the negative thoughts that may plague us. The spark of life inside can be dimmed and all our expectations for the Christmas season can be abandoned and cast aside. What’s the point, you may ask? If you are in that place of darkness, please don’t be there alone. It’s so important to have someone to walk through that place with you, and so important that you allow yourself that time to grieve, whatever, or whomever, your loss. No matter your hardship, don’t ignore the pain you feel. Express it. But then look to the future. Find a new beginning and hope in the message of Christmas. Find your star, your Spirit, your hope, and follow it. The symbol of light, the star that led the wise men to Jesus, inspired hope during a time of great pain and darkness. Let it do the same for you too! A light in the darkness In The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R Tolkien, Lady Galadriel gives Frodo a phial of starlight, saying, “May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out”. Starlight has ever been used as a message of hope in times of darkness. A beacon of hope that shines brightest in the dark. There are so many people who struggle to see the light, at any time of year, but often most especially at Christmas. The expectation of this time of year can often be overbearing and the pressure mounted upon us to provide a certain standard can be too much. However, just as Glaladriel knew that Frodo would face such terrible darkness, she offered him a way through. He didn’t remain in the dark. A message of hope Just the same, the Christmas message is one of hope and light. For all the pageantry and excess associated with Christmas, the Christmas story, the arrival of hope into the world, happened in humility and darkness. Whether you believe in the Christmas story is irrelevant here. If nothing else, the symbolism of the events at that first Christmas echoes down to us today. So many of us have been brought low this year through events none of us could have anticipated. Covid 19 has laid many of us bare through death, unemployment, fear, anxiety, loneliness…the first Christmas was no different. Hope and light shone in the darkness and made a way forward. A new beginning beyond pain and uncertainty. Look forward with hope Whether you have weathered 2020 well, or whether you’ve really struggled this year, I encourage you to find hope this Christmas. It’s the time of giving and receiving, and what better gift to give someone than the gift of hope. It’s so easy to get bogged down in preparations or our own pain, that we forget to look up. If you are in a position of plenty, of joy, and are full of hope this season, reach out. There are many around you who are struggling emotionally, financially, physically. You could be their hope in the darkness and see them through what would otherwise be a difficult Christmas. Or you could be that person struggling. I encourage you to look up also and seek the hope of Christmas in small ways. Embrace the love and kindness of others, give that same love and kindness where you can. And above all, look forward with hope in your heart, that there are better times ahead.
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